..................................................................
..................................................................
..................................................................
Tommy & Co.
..................................................................
..................................................................
A story divided into a collection, or a collection of stories connected by the characters and events.
......................................................................................
STORY THE FIRST—Peter Hope plans his Prospectus
"“But, my good—” Mr. Peter Hope, checking himself, sought again the assistance of his glasses. The glasses being unable to decide the point, their owner had to put the question bluntly:
"“Are you a boy or a girl?”
"“I dunno.”
"“You don’t know!”
"“What’s the difference?”
"Mr. Peter Hope stood up, and taking the strange figure by the shoulders, turned it round slowly twice, apparently under the impression that the process might afford to him some clue. But it did not.
"“What is your name?”
"“Tommy.”
"“Tommy what?”
"“Anything you like. I dunno. I’ve had so many of ’em.”
"“What do you want? What have you come for?”
"“You’re Mr. Hope, ain’t you, second floor, 16, Gough Square?”
"“That is my name.”
"“You want somebody to do for you?”
"“You mean a housekeeper!”
"“Didn’t say anything about housekeeper. Said you wanted somebody to do for you—cook and clean the place up. Heard ’em talking about it in the shop this afternoon. Old lady in green bonnet was asking Mother Hammond if she knew of anyone.”"
"“I’d do for you all right,” persisted Tommy. “You give me my grub and a shake-down and, say, sixpence a week, and I’ll grumble less than most of ’em.”"
Quite a surprise, this first story, from this author - there is humour, of course, but only as a pinch of salt in a dish that isn't mainly salty, and has every other taste too. What's more, he doesn't ramble! Very unlike the Jerome K. Jerome one is used to!
......................................................................................
......................................................................................
STORY THE SECOND—William Clodd appoints himself Managing Director
Mrs. Postwhistle features prominently in this one, she's a character from the first story. Perhaps he lodged with Mrs. Postwhistle? The latter might be true, but now the journalist Mr Peter Hope appears halfway through, so it'd seem that the stories are connected. This one is about a lodger whom Mrs Postwhistle got rid of, despite his paying regularly and not being trouble, and Mr Clodd took him in.
"“There’s no harm in him,” asserted Mr. Clodd, talking the matter over with one Mr. Peter Hope, journalist, of Gough Square. “He’s just a bit dotty, same as you or I might get with nothing to do and all day long to do it in. Kid’s play, that’s all it is. The best plan, I find, is to treat it as a game and take a hand in it. Last week he wanted to be a lion. I could see that was going to be awkward, he roaring for raw meat and thinking to prowl about the house at night. Well, I didn’t nag him—that’s no good. I just got a gun and shot him. He’s a duck now, and I’m trying to keep him one: sits for an hour beside his bath on three china eggs I’ve bought him. Wish some of the sane ones were as little trouble.”"
"“Clodd’s a good sort—a good sort,” said Peter Hope, who, having in his time lived much alone, had fallen into the habit of speaking his thoughts aloud; “but he’s not the man to waste his time. I wonder.”"
....................................................................................
STORY THE THIRD—Grindley Junior drops into the Position of Publisher
A rather fun love story between children who met young but separated because his father became rich and didn't wish to know hers, an old friend, any longer.
"A serious little virgin, Miss Appleyard’s ambition was to help the human race. What more useful work could have come to her hand than the raising of this poor but intelligent young grocer’s assistant unto the knowledge and the love of higher things. That Grindley junior happened to be an exceedingly good-looking and charming young grocer’s assistant had nothing to do with the matter, so Miss Appleyard would have informed you. In her own reasoning she was convinced that her interest in him would have been the same had he been the least attractive of his sex. That there could be danger in such relationship never occurred to her.
"Miss Appleyard, a convinced Radical, could not conceive the possibility of a grocer’s assistant regarding the daughter of a well-to-do printer in any other light than that of a graciously condescending patron. That there could be danger to herself! you would have been sorry you had suggested the idea. The expression of lofty scorn would have made you feel yourself contemptible."
Superb story, in very much Jerome K. Jerome oeuvre.
....................................................................................
STORY THE FOURTH—Miss Ramsbotham gives her Services
She was intelligent and had a career, and found it difficult to fall in love herself, until in her early thirties she fell for a selfish brute who was pretty, and he was tolerated because of her. He fell in love with a young pretty girl without education or sense, in turn, and was honest.
This story, Jerome K. Jerome reminds one of his somewhat contemporary W. Somerset Maugham, but is less worldly or cynical. It's about the human nature and unexpected turns that the similarity is fleetingly felt.
"“If you had fallen in love with the right man,” had said Susan Fossett, “those ideas would not have come to you.”
"“I know,” said Miss Ramsbotham. “He will have to like me thin and in these clothes, just because I am nice, and good company, and helpful. That is the man I am waiting for.”
"He never came along. A charming, bright-eyed, white-haired lady occupies alone a little flat in the Marylebone Road, looks in occasionally at the Writers’ Club. She is still Miss Ramsbotham."
......................................................................................
STORY THE FIFTH—Joey Loveredge agrees—on certain terms—to join the Company
STORY THE FIFTH—Joey Loveredge agrees—on certain terms—to join the Company
Here it's reverse of the previous story, to begin with - Joey Loveredge is friendly with everyone, but seems unlikely to marry, until he suddenly does in his forties; but no one can meet his wife! Turns out it's because she's perfect except for her being snobbish and wishing to keep company only with those connected to titles. Then someone hits upon the idea of faking it, and Joey's set begins to be invited one by one, each pretending to be someone from the peerage! Only, Mrs Loveredge one day attends a garden party alone, meets Lady Mary Sutton and invites her!
The hilarious results couldn't have been left to a better author than Jerome K. Jerome.
......................................................................................
STORY THE SIXTH—“The Babe” applies for Shares
......................................................................................
STORY THE SIXTH—“The Babe” applies for Shares
Good taste vs circulation, honesty vs profits from advertisements, ..... and although everyone agrees that a female might get through to get the advertisement, Tommy isn't allowed to do it! But there's an admirer who finds out, and being irritated about being not considered manly enough by males generally, has a brilliant idea!
The rest defies any possible anticipation by the reader, and is a story quite on par with the best of Jerome K. Jerome.
......................................................................................
STORY THE SEVENTH—Dick Danvers presents his Petition
......................................................................................
STORY THE SEVENTH—Dick Danvers presents his Petition
The first couple of pages of dialogue between various older males debating about Tommy at eighteen, truly hilarious. As usual with this set, the story turns far more interesting. Lovely end.
......................................................................................
......................................................................................
................................................
................................................
August 06, 2020 - August 09, 2020.
................................................
August 06, 2020 - August 09, 2020.
Transcribed from the
1904
Hutchinson and Co. edition
by David Price,
email ccx074@pglaf.org
...............................................
................................................
................................................
..................................................................
..................................................................
..................................................................
