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September 16, 2020.
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THE OBSERVATIONS OF HENRY
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The author claims the stories were told him by Henry, a waiter, and he's only cleaned up the construction.
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THE GHOST OF THE MARCHIONESS OF APPLEFORD.
"For Henry tells me that at Capetown Captain Kit’s First-class Family and Commercial Hotel still runs, and that the landlady is still a beautiful woman with fine eyes and red hair, who might almost be taken for a duchess — until she opens her mouth, when her accent is found to be still slightly reminiscent of the Mile-End Road."
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September 16, 2020.
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THE USES AND ABUSES OF JOSEPH.
About a man who decided to be a burger because nothing else was worth doing, but became a missionary after he fell for a girl, and was offered the position in Africa by her master who understood him.
"“In the end, Joe took on the job, and went out with his wife. A better missionary that Society never had and never wanted. I read one of his early reports home; and if the others were anything like it his life must have been exciting enough, even for him. His station was a small island of civilisation, as one may say, in the middle of a sea of savages. Before he had been there a month the place had been attacked twice. On the first occasion Joe’s ‘flock’ had crowded into the Mission House, and commenced to pray, that having been the plan of defence adopted by his predecessor. Joe cut the prayer short, and preached to them from the text, ‘Heaven helps them as helps themselves’; after which he proceeded to deal out axes and old rifles. In his report he mentioned that he had taken a hand himself, merely as an example to the flock; I bet he had never enjoyed an evening more in all his life. The second fight began, as usual, round the Mission, but seems to have ended two miles off. In less than six months he had rebuilt the school-house, organised a police force, converted all that was left of one tribe, and started a tin church. He added (but I don’t think they read that part of his report aloud) that law and order was going to be respected, and life and property secure in his district so long as he had a bullet left.
"“Later on the Society sent him still further inland, to open up a fresh station; and there it was that, according to the newspapers, the cannibals got hold of him and ate him. As I said, personally I don’t believe it. One of these days he’ll turn up, sound and whole; he is that sort.”"
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September 17, 2020.
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THE SURPRISE OF MR. MILBERRY.
"“Who wouldn’t believe what?” I asked. He had a curious habit, had Henry, of commenting aloud upon his own unspoken thoughts, thereby bestowing upon his conversation much of the quality of the double acrostic. We had been discussing the question whether sardines served their purpose better as a hors d’œuvre or as a savoury; and I found myself wondering for the moment why sardines, above all other fish, should be of an unbelieving nature; while endeavouring to picture to myself the costume best adapted to display the somewhat difficult figure of a sardine. Henry put down his glass, and came to my rescue with the necessary explanation."
Henry opined that up to three months of age no one could tell one baby from another, except for colour and gender differences, and proceeded to tell his story about a mix up between a baby and a dog, packed in identical hampers.
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September 17, 2020.
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THE PROBATION OF JAMES WRENCH.
Henry tells about marriages, mistakes and redemptions.
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September 17, 2020.
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THE WOOING OF TOM SLEIGHT’S WIFE.
A very beautiful love story, about a young couple separated immediately after wedding by circumstances, and their finding one another back.
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September 17, 2020.
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September 16, 2020 - September 17, 2020.
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